


"Surprise...?"

by WonderBoy



Series: Tumblr Prompts [6]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Birthday Cake, Crack, Drabble, Humor, I'm Sorry, M/M, Prompt Fic, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 10:02:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13656714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WonderBoy/pseuds/WonderBoy
Summary: The plan, Lance decides, would have gone off without a hitch, if it hadn’t been for Keith.“You just had to say something, Mullet!”Keith throws up his hands. “I just wanted to know how he isn’t going to suffocate!”





	"Surprise...?"

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr Prompt/Request: Celebrating Shiro's birthday and Slav is the stripper to jump out of the cake (willingly or tricked by the kids or just shoved into it by them)
> 
> I'm so fucking sorry

The plan, Lance decides, would have gone off without a hitch, if it hadn’t been for Keith.

“You just  _had_ to say something, Mullet!” 

Keith throws up his hands. “I just wanted to know how he isn’t going to suffocate!”

The repeated question earns another groan of distress from the blubbering alien in the corner before he resumes his frantic ramblings with renewed vigor.

“But did you have to ask with him in  _hearing_  range?”

“It’s a good question Lance, none of us have ever done this before.” Hunk says in an attempt to quell any budding argument.

“You’ve met Slav. He would have come to that question and all the possible ways it could go wrong on his own. You know, eventually.” Pidge adds helpfully.

Lance rolls his eyes, flopping over the counter. “Yeah but he’s been hung up on all the ways he could discover a rare allergy to the cake ingredients and what frosting colors would accent him best for the last hour. I figured we’d get him into the cake before he made it that far down on the list,” he waves a hand towards the corner, as if any of them could have forgotten he was there. “Now we’ll never get him in there.”

The kitchen falls into an awkward silence, save for Slav’s continued mutterings and the quiet clink of utensils as Hunk continues cooking.

“What about holding his breath?” Pidge asks suddenly.

Lance squints at her. “What do you mean?”

Ignoring him, Pidge leans towards Slav. “How long can you hold your breath? Just in case we can’t figure it out safely, if we know how long you can hold your breath we can time it so you aren’t in there that long. It only takes like 3 ticks to say ‘Happy Birthday.’”

He stops his ramblings to consider what she’s saying. “There’s a ten percent chance of that idea not ending in catastrophe if this is one of the realities in which I can hold my breath for seventy-four ticks.”

The four paladins share a look.

“Well…is it?” Lance prompts when Slav does not continue.

“Hm.” The questions sets him off on another bout of calculations.

Still, Lance takes it as a good sign, and shoots Hunk a thumbs up.

The plan, even despite Keith, might still be a success after all.

* * *

The plan, Lance realizes, might still be a disaster if Shiro won’t cooperate.

He’s perched besides the giant cake, with Hunk on the other side, ready to wheel it out the moment someone turns on the lights.

Except they’ve already been sitting there for nearly three minutes, listening to the back and forth between him, Pidge, and Keith. Well, mostly Pidge and Shiro. Keith doesn’t seem to be particularly enthusiastic to bring Shiro into the room, which just further proves Lance’s previous point about the mission failing because of him.

“Even I did not account for the multiple possibilities in which Shiro caused the plan to fail.” Slav says next to him, with an air of wonder in his voice.

Lance turns to glare at him, though he’s fairly certain he’s off by a few inches considering the dark. “You didn’t?” 

“No, but I had known when I finally agreed that there would be a six and three/eightieths percent chance that I would have forgotten something vital in at least twelve different realities.”

Lance images for a moment that he can see Hunk and share a disbelieving look with him. “Wow…that seems like a…big chance to take.”

“Hm, yes I suppose, but you did choose blue frosting as I requested after all which, as I may have mentioned before-”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s in your lucky range of terahertz,” Lance waves a hand to stop Slav before he can start to ramble. “Wait, I think I hear something.”

Keith finally joins the conversation again outside, but his words are muffled except for “Lance.”

Lance grits his teeth. “He better not be giving away our plan,” he says, already planning some form of payback, when Shiro speaks again. 

“Alright, I’ll see if I can answer Lance’s questions before going to find Allura. Where did you say he was?”

Lance almost blows their cover himself, barely catching himself before he cheers.  _Yes_! Keith actually came through. For once.

He turns to Slav, whose vague outline he can still make out besides him. “Quick, get in the cake! Before Shiro sees!”

“But-“

Lance shoves him before Slav can continue arguing, and he reluctantly begins to wiggle into place. 

Though Lance can still hear him muttering to himself as he and Hunk close the fake back on the large cake.

They barely have the hatch closed before the door slides open and the lights flicker on.

Immediately, Lance and Hunk jump out from their places to flock the cake, while Allura and Coran appear on the other side of the room brandishing some kind of Altean party favor that looked extremely dangerous, but the other paladins agreed to let them use on account of how excited they seemed to pull them out again.

“Happy Birthday!”

They shout in unison, Pidge and Keith joining only a moment behind as they follow Shiro into the dining hall.

Slav bursts forth from the top of the cake on cue, splattering Lance and Hunk with frosting.

Shiro stares in astonishment, frozen to his spot in the room. Keith and Pidge start to laugh, but flanking him they can’t see what Lance and Hunk are witness to.

Which is Shiro blushing.

Lance glances beside him. Slav still towers over the top of the tiered cake, arms spread out in a dramatic pose. He’s wearing some kind of sparkling top that actually covers very little of his long torso, and a feather boa is draped around him.

Lance has absolutely no idea where he got the outfit, but he elects not to ask. Turning back around, he grins at Shiro.

“Surprise! You thought we forgot didn’t you?”

Shiro startles out of his trance to acknowledge Lance with a sheepish smile. “I uh, actually didn’t know you guys knew my birthday.”

“Well technically we’re a little early since someone is a Leap Year Baby and didn’t even bother to tell us, but Keith might’ve let the date slip a few weeks ago.” Hunk chimes in.

“Are you exhilarated, Black Paladin?” Slav suddenly speaks up. With a dramatic twist that flings more frosting around the room, he tosses to boa towards Shiro, somehow managing to actually wrap it around his shoulders, though it drops half off him a moment later. “There was a sixty-six percent chance that the colors would excite you,” Lance didn’t realize Slav was wearing something else but the sound of something jingling as he shimmies gives it away. “And that was in my lucky range today.”

Silence falls over the room when Slav stops speaking. Shiro’s flush returns full force.

The plan’s not exactly a disaster, Lance decides, but it has most definitely taken a turn he was not prepared for.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me, request new things, or just stalk the progress of other fics on tumblr @ thathopelessromantic.tumblr.com
> 
> I would also like to remind everyone that I take normal requests to. Not just nonsense like this


End file.
